Jenny's 2020 Wedding: The Tears, Tests And The Dress
It feels very apt, given that we finally got married in 2020, that I sit down to write this whilst awaiting my COVID-19 test results.
Being a bridal seamstress yet to have tied the knot, the words I often heard were “surely you will know exactly what to do when it comes to your dress?”
My truthful answer always remained. “Oh, I’ve had my wedding dress designed for years…”
My Wedding Dress Inspiration
Looking back to my school years, I hated drawing figures. (My friend Alice used to do them for me and I would overlay with my designs). I was always designing what my wedding dress would look like.
I had some interesting ideas of what that might be! It developed from “let’s throw everything at it in duchess satin” to, “let’s add a halter neck.”
I had some interesting ideas of what that might be! It developed from “let’s throw everything at it in duchess satin” to, “let’s add a halter neck.” ...I then moved onto Vivienne Westwood: pleat it, gather it, ruche it and dye it pink. Ah, that magnificent Gwen Stefani look… I aimed for them all.
Eventually, my muse landed on this; the iconic Green Dress, worn by Keira Knightly in Atonement. It is still one of the most stunning dresses I have seen in any film. This was what I wanted.
We were engaged in June 2019 and planned our big day for 2020. To quote my best friend Jess on New Year’s Eve (as so many other brides-to-be must have thought) “2020 is going to be our year!”
Wedding During The Pandemic
Through many months of endless wedding planning, everything changed and kept changing. I’ll fast forward to mid-summer 2020 and wedding plan No.3: a 30-person wedding in my gran’s garden. And finally facing the task of making my own dress.
What Did I Want From My Dress?
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No train. Ironic being a bridal seamstress I know, but I have always preferred dresses without a train. Now don’t get me wrong, they are stunning, but personally, I love the fabric movement when it flows naturally.
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Comfort. We were planning an almost ‘family picnic’ wedding style in the garden, and I wanted a dress I could play with the kids in and just relax.
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Simple and timeless. I wanted a gown to look back in 20 years and feel just as confident and special as I did on the day.
So,.....after buying a ridiculously expensive pair of shoes.... I made my dress.
It was almost finished, and no one other than my team (I needed someone to fit it to me!) had seen the dress. Perhaps, given the year, I didn’t want to get too emotionally attached to it. Plans might have to be changed again, or maybe I was just too nervous. Eventually, I showed it to my sister and my mum.
From Bridal Seamstress To Bride
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Imagine. I am standing in a studio of a bridal seamstress business that I have built from the ground up. I am wearing a wedding dress of which every detail I have made myself. My mum and my sister are with me, all of us so grateful we could be there at that moment. I will not hide it from you, I cried so much that evening because I was just so happy.
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Through all the ups and downs of the year, not even knowing if we could even have the wedding, I had achieved that moment. The moment that turned the dress into my wedding dress.
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It didn’t matter that it wasn’t The Green Dress, nor covered in diamonds or made of the finest materials. I wasn’t going to wear anything else now. This was it.
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Consequently, another handful of wedding plans down, we found ourselves in late December. This was the week of our wedding.
Last Minute Dress Doubts
Now trust me on this, you will doubt yourselves!
In this week I will admit I spent a lot of money. I questioned whether all the dress buttons were right and, as a result, buying pearl ones. I bought meters of very expensive lace in the middle of the night. I doubted everything. Put it this way, it would have been dangerous to leave me alone with the dress and a pair of scissors for too long! But thanks to my team giving me ‘don’t do it’ looks, I held back.
48 hours to go: Tier changes are looming, and we brought the date of the wedding forward 24 hours.
30 hours to go: We had to change our guest list and subsequently our suppliers too. Then manically packed everything into the car.
12 hours to go: Driving up to the Cotswolds with the news on to hear if we could actually have our wedding the very next day.
But on Friday 18th December, we did it.
Last Minute Dress Doubts
Now trust me on this, you will doubt yourselves!
In this week I will admit I spent a lot of money. I questioned whether all the dress buttons were right and, as a result, buying pearl ones. I bought meters of very expensive lace in the middle of the night. I doubted everything. Put it this way, it would have been dangerous to leave me alone with the dress and a pair of scissors for too long! But thanks to my team giving me ‘don’t do it’ looks, I held back.
48 hours to go: Tier changes are looming, and we brought the date of the wedding forward 24 hours.
30 hours to go: We had to change our guest list and subsequently our suppliers too. Then manically packed everything into the car.
12 hours to go: Driving up to the Cotswolds with the news on to hear if we could actually have our wedding the very next day.
But on Friday 18th December, we did it.
If It Matters To You, It Matters
My journey, like so many 2020 brides, wasn’t quite as planned. Maybe you are searching for the wedding dress that you have always dreamed of, but you find yourself with something different. Perhaps you are having last-minute doubts about the fabric, or maybe you just don’t want to focus on your dress at all. From someone who supposedly should know precisely what they are doing, I hope it might be of some comfort that I was ‘there’ too.
But at the end of all it all, my dress was perfect.
I don’t want to be cheesy and conclude this blog post with “that feeling” of seeing my other half at the top of the aisle. In truth though, at that very moment my dress didn’t matter at all. No, it was the perfect dress as I felt it encompassed everything of the journey to the wedding and told our story. It is the journey ladies, enjoy it. Through the ups and the downs.
P.S. The Covid test came back negative.
We got married at Owlpen Manor, Oxfordshire, England.
Our flowers were by Cotswold Country Flowers.
Photography by Peter Majden.